Your mind is your mental house. How it functions is very similar to a movie theater. It houses many rooms and has multiple screenings occurring simultaneously. Though you’re focus is on the movie you are viewing at the moment, you can still sometimes hear the background noise of the adjacent movies playing. When you are in the moment, your attention is going to the task at hand, or the person you’re with, or a specific thought but the reel in your subconscious is continually playing on soft mute. This reel can include many and various scenes that make up your individual composition. But there is one predominate scene, always playing, that overlays all the others and that is your perception of yourself. You are the only person who is with you 24/7. Your thoughts and words may stem from other places but they are what have the greatest impact on you. Choose them wisely.
The mind is a powerful tool. It categorizes every lesson and bit of knowledge we acquire, links it to a thought, feeling, and/or emotion, and then puts it in room alone or with similar things. You have the keys to all the rooms but you also have the choice of keeping the doors open or closed. The rooms that house the positives tend to stay unlocked. While those that house the negative tend to stay firmly locked, with the hopes of never having to be entered. That sounds very nice and tidy – staying away from the bad memories and feelings and only focusing on the good. The trouble is that that’s rarely the case. Remember that movie theater? Your subconscious is always working. Those negatives, those painful episodes that rip your soul apart, that you try so hard to bury and forget, manifest themselves in 2 distinct ways: 1) onto others or 2) onto yourself.
How do they manifest onto others? This can vary depending on the actual negative experience but the most common ways they are manifested in your treatment of others are as follows:
Stunts your ability to trust people
Makes you critical of others
Prompts you to be overly judgmental
Leads to false perceptions of people
Misreading of people’s motives or intentions
How do they manifest onto you?
Inability to trust or believe in yourself
Low self esteem and confidence
Negative self talk
Engaging in unhealthy relationships
Take a moment to explore your mind. While it may seem safer for you to leave those painful experiences locked up inside of you, once released they no longer have power over you. To be able to experience that freedom of not being anchored to your past, your fear, or your hurt is euphoric. It initializes growth and a greater depth perception of yourself as well as others. To acknowledge them doesn’t mean that they disappear or suddenly become joyful. It simply means that you are allowing yourself to feel. So in turn, your mind, body, and heart can organically digest, accept, and understand how they fit into your composition.
Becoming comfortable with the voice in your head is a key factor in controlling how you speak to and view yourself. There is a lesson in every interaction and experience in your life. Allow yourself to feel the full gamut of emotions tied to these episodes, and you will gain a greater understanding of yourself.
Do you have trouble facing the negative memories, emotions, or feelings in your life?
Is it hard to let go of painful episodes in your life?
Do you feel your value is less than others?
Are the words “I can’t” or “I don’t deserve” a constant in your vocabulary?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, email me at email@example.com.
Christa Zamel is a certified personal lifestyle coach. Her style of coaching is not simply about talking, it's about living. It's tying verbal, spatial, and emotional threads together into one body so that inner and outer selves mirror each other.